in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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