Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
