Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
True strength comes from lack of pants
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
