What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
