I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
