Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
