you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
