Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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