ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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