yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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