12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
