"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
