oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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