You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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