and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
