Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
