that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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