When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
