I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
