Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
