How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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