This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
