im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He kissed a someone with a penis
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Randomize
