cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
