Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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