Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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