You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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