you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
