She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Ladies don't puke and tell
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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