can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
