Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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