i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
