And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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