dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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