and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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