ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
