doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
