Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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