Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
that's an acceptable place to lick
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
