So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
