I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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