Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
