Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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