i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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