ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
