Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
