He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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