I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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