it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
