Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
