so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
